How?! How to start over? How do I get the momentum AGAIN? I have stopped before and I have “taken breaks” but I am never content when I’m not doing my Art...it’s haunting me. Nothing feels as good as when I’m not actively doing “Amp”.
If I know all this why would I ever stop…well because I fell prey to my old habits. Those habits being doubt, fear, concern that someone will see. Or worst they might want further explanation of what I do or say. I feel better tucked off, yet my spirit feels trapped because part of my expression of art is showcasing. I have to be in the public eye and I have to step out of my comfort zone. When I started “Amp” I blocked out everything and just did it consistently. Year two came and I felt like I had to focus on everything I ignored. Why because even though this is a form of therapy…I want money and I want a platform to help others overcome what I feel being a creative means. I’m certain I’m not the only with these experiences.
Also, I know that by me being brave I encourage others. So back to the question! How do you do it? You choose your Art over fear. Fear = hate, rather self-hate or hate from outsiders. If its hate from within, you have to deal with it. If it’s outside hate you just ignore it. To obtain success, you must understand mind over matter. What you believe is more relevant than your current situation.
Have you ever had an idea but was too fearful to act on it? Has a similar idea surfaced but it was done by some else? If the answer is YES, there is a reason for that. One reason is we are ALL creatives and the universe calls us to an idea but only a few choose to overcome their fear to obtain success. The other reason is proof that you, my dear were onto something. It’s a sign from the universe to ACT on your ideas. I have had many ideas that I’m seeing and they are making others millions. Now that I’m an adult I had to ask myself a question…when are you just going to dive in? I choose now and I want to dive in now. I really don’t have much of a choice.
Now that that’s clear, let’s talk fashion:
This look is all about me saying okay “why not fully be myself”. My shirt is a vintage pearl top. My pants are vintage PJ pants from my grandma that I rolled up and belted. The shoes are from Go Jane.
P.S. Thanks for reading my rededication to my Art. I have been gone for a while, so expect longer post for about a week.
Music: BEYONCE HAUNTED
Listen when Big Sean said, “I live the life I deserve, blessed Fuck a vacay, I feel better at work”…I felt that! No really I did, I’m truly blessed. I’m so blessed that if I just DO something, everything I want will manifest. I’m also so blessed that everything works out! This is not me boasting, this is me being extremely grateful! I am dealing with a lot of things at one time. My dreams are manifesting while I’m also kinda struggling and it’s a beautiful thing if I’m honest. It’s beautiful because the negative won’t last long. I have fallen before or been a “little off” but this time I’m still working. It’s not perfect and it’s not super organized but it’s something I’m proud of. In life especially when you’re creating, you must be proud of your content. People will always feel what they feel about it, however, that is none of your business. I don’t have everything figured out but what I do know is I’m going to show my gratitude every day! It doesn’t matter what is not the way I want because that too will be fixed.
So what if you don’t have money, so what if you don’t have the support, so what if you don’t know how you are going to get to what you desire…SO WHAT! Why so what because everything that you want you to have. You have the willpower and the focus, you will attract everything else. Just because you want it now doesn’t mean you’re ready. I wanted plenty of things but 30% was fear stopping me, 30% I didn’t see the bigger plan, 30% it wasn’t the TIME and 10% was procrastination! Once I started shifting those percentages to 60% of my belief in God’s plan and 40% believe in ME...it started.
Speaking of blessings…this look I was blessed to create. This is yet another throwback and this was the 2nd shoot I did with my friend photographer. She is a true blessing…she always captures what I need and edits perfectly! I wanted to be a little all over the place! Faux Fur, vintage bras, and vintage distressed jeans. The jacket was a Christmas gift from Zara. The bras are vintage and I acquired them from my mom. The jeans I purchased from a Goodwill in Miami Florida in 2011 and I distressed them myself. The boots are old from Forever 21 and the vintage hat belonged to my grandfather.
You are blessed and though things shift...allow that shift and understand you’re blessed, so it will work out!
MUSIC: Big Sean x Drake x Little Sean - Blessings (Riot Ten HYPE OR DIE Trap Remix)
God’s plan? Let’s talk about it…God is definitely showing me some favoritism and I am not complaining. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect…actually, it’s the complete opposite. The hard days are just as important if not more important than the good days. I have a few things in the works. The process is overwhelming at times but each day something new is added. I am getting new information, connections, and opportunities.
Every day isn’t going to feel good and everyone that cares about you deeply will understand…initially. It’s no one’s responsibility to catch your vision fully but keep working. Keep following the plan and watch, you will be doing exactly what you always wanted. If you have been reading my blog for a while, it may sound repetitive. The reason is the first few steps are the hardest and you have to go back to do them often. Here they are again…
1) Discover your passion
2) Start (whatever and wherever you are.. just start)
3) Make a plan
4) Believe it will work!
I am not where I plan on being but I’m working God’s plan. Coincidentally HIS plan is my plan…it’s coming together.
Speaking of God and his plans, it’s is sizzling hot in LA. However, I wanted to throwback to cooler times. This look is a vintage Army Fatigue jacket and Pants. The jacket is from L Train Vintage in Brooklyn and the pants are from a thrift store in Cleveland Ohio called, “Value World”. I love both of these stores…they always come through! The shoes I bought on sale at Go Jane and the jewelry is a mix of Vintage with Contemporary. Just like life, sometimes the perfect outfit takes time to come together.
No need to ask about me…I already know you know. Well if you don’t let’s talk…I’m Brio and all I do is be myself. That would consist of watching reruns, thrifting and trying to only create what is real to me while provoking my fellow abstract to obtain their own vision.
Sure it’s hard but in order to be heard, you have to make a sound which is a metaphor for creating. I don’t like to do the “right” things all the time. Take today, for instance, I definitely procrastinated on a number of things. I know how important it is to go after what I want but I’m discouraged. Well maybe discouraged isn’t the right word…I’m feeling disconnected. When I feel like this I have to ask myself, “What have you been allowing in your world”? Hmmm let’s see…Procrastination, aiding distractions and fear + reading all the negativity going on in the world. June has had some UPS and as the month went on some unfortunate events have transpired. It left me feeling fragmented and these emotions are things we all deal with.
Somedays we are 100% and other days it feels like June 2018. Don’t beat yourself up, take your journey to your dreams a day at a time. Allow those days that you are off to remind yourself that you will be who you were born to be. You already have what you need to conquer and all of the connections they will happen. It still solely based on the work and the beliefs you have towards things…that works for good and bad things. Stay on top of it by doing your craft or goal even when you don’t feel like it.
Since the weather has been matching the energy of June in LA. I had to dress light and covered. My only way to do that is with robes and silk PJ pants which are both vintage items from the thrift. I stand for this look and it’s what my legacy will/is based upon (vintage robes and PJ’s). I wore the blue pumps again and my glasses are from a Brooklyn thrift store.
Be kind to yourself and do the work…
MUSIC THE CARTERS (JAYZ - BEYONCE) YOU HEARD ABOUT US
I can do anything...if I just start! Often we find ourselves inspired but not provoked. Being inspired can just be given an idea of something to do however being provoked is to be pushed to do something. I have been somewhere in the middle of the two. I understand my perspective and what I want to do but if I get too into what others are doing, I lose the feeling of inspiration. Instead, I feel unaccomplished and less than. No, it isn’t true that I’m less than in reality but it’s true if I allow it to be. Everything in your life you create...the good and the bad which can be altered by you. If you are truly “Nice” don’t let your current circumstances make you see yourself differently. Every day won’t be amazing but how you feel about that determines everything.
Jay-Z said, “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” You would do and create anything you wanted to…well do it! Listen we are in this together. One day this blog will be a huge platform and you will have gone off and created whatever your heart desires. It will happen because BOTH of us are going after what we want...TOGETHER! We won’t stress about the process, the work, the “failures”...just the goal! With that being said, don’t feel like you should submit to the “norm” in order to be noticed or accepted. Follow the universe and your instincts, don’t be swayed away from the ideas you know is right. Over time people will catch up. I have noticed that if you stop and switch up, you later see someone getting credit/respect for doing what you started. The difference is they kept going and you stopped.
Speaking of being “Nice” and doing anything you want…that is always my choice for style. It’s the last week of June, the month of Pride Happy Pride lovies. The weather in June is up and down during L.A. days. Which is code for bring a jacket and that dress will definitely require pants if you aren’t in direct sunlight or at nighttime. Since I always run cold because I’m cold blooded this applies to me, lol. See what I did there? No, okay…anyway since I’m always cold I wear layers. Today’s layers consist of a Duster that I got from my Mom, a Vintage dress from an NYC vintage store and pants with splits in them. The pants are from some random fast fashion store in Cleveland and the shoes are Go Jane. Remember you can do anything because YOU’RE “Nice” at what you do.
MUSIC THE CARTERS NICE