Everyone wants to be a Boss! I personally found that if you want to be a Boss, you have to start with self…look within you and organize your life. I am on a journey to eat and feed many. I don’t want to just be a Boss, I am here to inspire Bosses to do their craft. Don’t stress out about the time it takes to get there. The important question is...are you working towards anything at all. I suffer from procrastination not because I’m lazy but because I get nervous it’s not going to work out. If you are like me, I have noticed that working through my nervousness is key. Press through and don’t worry about if it’s working now or not, just keep at it. You will get to the result you want if you keep going.
Today’s look is all about being the type of “Boss” you want to be. I aspire to wear pajamas as luxury clothes all the days of my life…that’s my Boss move. My robe was a thrift find that I wear as a coat or a duster. This is the first time I wore it as a shirt. My pants are Sheer pants that go with another set and the shoes are from Charlotte Ruse. The necklace is a necklace that broke and I reworked it. As you can see I like to show a lil skin but that’s also MY Boss move!
Music: The Carters, “Boss”
I like it like that…I like my life now. In the past I would start and stop solely because I hated struggling. I hated not being perfect from the start and I didn’t like the process. I figured if I wasn’t “naturally” good it wasn’t for me. That was because typically things came easily to me and I the people I surrounded myself with. I have had the pleasure to come from a creative family and a pick creative friends. Most of them also didn’t have to work at anything, they were either good effortlessly or they didn’t did it. Well so I thought.
I will admit I was wrong. Everyone I knew, including myself worked at whatever we were good at. My WRONG perspective lead me on a journey I can now be grateful for. If I’m honest I’m slightly embarrassed about how I used to think and view my life. I didn’t fight because I didn’t know to fight for what I wanted.
I was told that life is about overcoming your failures. I didn’t understand that failures are the foundation of genuine success. I have the tendency to be triggered negatively and/or positively by words. Meaning if I perceive a word to have a negative connotation it’s hard for me to look past it or even consider the concept of it. Example the word “failure”...I don’t like how that word makes me feel. It very permanent and it defines an experience. Sooo I have always rejected any and everything attached to that. Now take the words; lessons, overcomer, achievements...those words aren’t negative no matter the experience attached to them. This is because the “failure” isn’t the focal point, it’s just a part of the process. Now I can accept “failure” because it’s just on the journey to my success without defining my moment and/or life.
Ironically I never had that perspective with fashion. If a look didn’t work out, I would try over and over again until I found it. I love the idea of hats but I don’t get to wear them much. I have sort of big curly hair with a small head AND no forehead. You’re maybe confused but I’ll explain…hats typically look better on fuller face people. If you have a bigger forehead it will also look better because it won’t cover your whole face...just enough. For example my Mom, Rihanna...she was blessed with a forehead, so hats look bomb on her. Once I figured out my “issue” or “failure”, I found hats that work for me. Sun hats or floppy hats don’t really work for me butttt this hat situation with a long low ponytail is for me.
The hat is from my auntie’s closet and the shirt is a thrift find. The shorts are old from some fast fashion store...maybe Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe and the shoes are Go Jane.
“We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed.” ― Mark Manson
Music: Cardi B, “Like it like that”
You have to save yourself…hear me out I’m going to be here for you. However when you look back over your accomplishments, you are going to understand that you overcame your hardships yourself and not because someone saved you. You will have confidence for yourself and faith in your Art…I’m here just to be an ally. I don’t want to be your hero and I’m not your hero. I’m not your Mama…I’m more like your big sister. Mama is the feeling of overprotection or sometimes-even worry… think of me big sister (courage). Big sister and Mama both want you to win, one is just more cautions whereas the other knows. No matter what, you will survive and achieve. You can’t achieve accomplishments without hardships. If you are still following my metaphors, you have noticed that both of those feelings are outside of you. You decide which one you want to “follow”. Rather you want to let fear stop you because of what might be or deciding in spite of what might be, I’m doing it! Life is better when you choose to see it that way...seeing life as something you have the control to improve and enjoy.
Let’s talk fashion! Since I have been expanding my thinking, it has filtered into my fashion. Lately I have been drawn to vivid colors and contrasting prints. I have been seeing a new trend ...“Dad shirts” but worn by women. I love when my personal style choices become all of the rage. When I lived in Miami I thrifted a lot and I livvvved in the “Dad” section (no that wasn’t a real department), it was really just the men’s department. Anyway, they always had dope Hawaiian shirts or cool ones like the one I’m wearing. Overtime I grew a small collection of printed “Dad shirts”. Since the trend started, I have seen shirts like this sold for $130+. Of course being a vintage snob that I am; I rolled my eyes and I pulled this top out of the collection. The shorts are from a Brand called, “Motel”. They are very vintage-esk but are for sure contemporary. My shoes are from Go Jane…I got them during a 4th of July sale.This is the explanation for this mash up of prints.
Music: After the Storm…Kali Uchis ft. Tyler the Creator
Ps. I’m feeling good because well 1) I look it and 2) I choose it. Know that you are your own HERO!
Don’t worry about anything…Mr. Marley understood the luxury of letting go. When you let go of stress and worry, you gain so much. I am an “over” everything-er, (I know that’s not a word) an over analyzer, thinker, worrier etc. I admire the relaxed and chill…the type of people that can just go with the flow. I can do it but not if I let myself get worked up. I used to say, if I prepare for the worst at least I won’t be caught off guard. Whatever you expect you will get in life period. If you “prepare” (expect) for the worst it will show up and this will only lead to more stress.
Recently, I tested something different and I mess up at this a lot. The difference is now, I calm myself down a lot faster than I did in the past. I breathe and I tell God along with myself exactly what I want to happen. If you are going to try this, start small. Think of a thing that to someone else would be ridiculous but it matters to you. For example, I am a L.A. resident and there is always traffic. I have to leave my location an hour and a half earlier than I have to be there. Last Tuesday I didn’t do that, in fact I left only 45 minutes early and on a weekday in the morning. Tuesday morning is especially congested in my lovely neighborhood. There are a couple of schools and a lot of people who has to be at work at 9-930a.m. I told God and myself that I was going to make it to my parking spot by 9:00am. I made that decision and I refused to buckle on that idea…long story short, I made it at 9:09a.m. That’s amazing because there is no way that “should” of happened and that is the time I typically get to my spot when I leave on time. The key is faith and that what you requested will be, no matter what you see. I have many stories like this, stories about me creating my world with my words. A clear mind it’s a magical thing. It is so pertinent to focus on the “what” you are creating.
This look was also a manifestation of something I thought of and then created. When I moved to L.A. I had one plan however God had a better one. I didn’t have a photographer but by putting myself out there I was blessed with an amazing one. I learn so much and she is everything I asked for. This was the first time we shot together and it was perfect. My look consisted of vintage and contemporary. I love men shirts hence the two I am wearing. The piano shirt is from the thrift and the Bob Marley shirt I acquired from some guy my Dad knows. You can’t see it in these photos but I destressed the bottom with fire since it looks like a piece of joint paper. I belted it and paired the shirts with grey boots. With everything, don’t worry be happy…it will let the light in your life!
Music Bob Marley, “Three little birds”