I like it like that…I like my life now. In the past I would start and stop solely because I hated struggling. I hated not being perfect from the start and I didn’t like the process. I figured if I wasn’t “naturally” good it wasn’t for me. That was because typically things came easily to me and I the people I surrounded myself with. I have had the pleasure to come from a creative family and a pick creative friends. Most of them also didn’t have to work at anything, they were either good effortlessly or they didn’t did it. Well so I thought.
I will admit I was wrong. Everyone I knew, including myself worked at whatever we were good at. My WRONG perspective lead me on a journey I can now be grateful for. If I’m honest I’m slightly embarrassed about how I used to think and view my life. I didn’t fight because I didn’t know to fight for what I wanted.
I was told that life is about overcoming your failures. I didn’t understand that failures are the foundation of genuine success. I have the tendency to be triggered negatively and/or positively by words. Meaning if I perceive a word to have a negative connotation it’s hard for me to look past it or even consider the concept of it. Example the word “failure”...I don’t like how that word makes me feel. It very permanent and it defines an experience. Sooo I have always rejected any and everything attached to that. Now take the words; lessons, overcomer, achievements...those words aren’t negative no matter the experience attached to them. This is because the “failure” isn’t the focal point, it’s just a part of the process. Now I can accept “failure” because it’s just on the journey to my success without defining my moment and/or life.
Ironically I never had that perspective with fashion. If a look didn’t work out, I would try over and over again until I found it. I love the idea of hats but I don’t get to wear them much. I have sort of big curly hair with a small head AND no forehead. You’re maybe confused but I’ll explain…hats typically look better on fuller face people. If you have a bigger forehead it will also look better because it won’t cover your whole face...just enough. For example my Mom, Rihanna...she was blessed with a forehead, so hats look bomb on her. Once I figured out my “issue” or “failure”, I found hats that work for me. Sun hats or floppy hats don’t really work for me butttt this hat situation with a long low ponytail is for me.
The hat is from my auntie’s closet and the shirt is a thrift find. The shorts are old from some fast fashion store...maybe Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe and the shoes are Go Jane.
“We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed.” ― Mark Manson
Music: Cardi B, “Like it like that”
You have to save yourself…hear me out I’m going to be here for you. However when you look back over your accomplishments, you are going to understand that you overcame your hardships yourself and not because someone saved you. You will have confidence for yourself and faith in your Art…I’m here just to be an ally. I don’t want to be your hero and I’m not your hero. I’m not your Mama…I’m more like your big sister. Mama is the feeling of overprotection or sometimes-even worry… think of me big sister (courage). Big sister and Mama both want you to win, one is just more cautions whereas the other knows. No matter what, you will survive and achieve. You can’t achieve accomplishments without hardships. If you are still following my metaphors, you have noticed that both of those feelings are outside of you. You decide which one you want to “follow”. Rather you want to let fear stop you because of what might be or deciding in spite of what might be, I’m doing it! Life is better when you choose to see it that way...seeing life as something you have the control to improve and enjoy.
Let’s talk fashion! Since I have been expanding my thinking, it has filtered into my fashion. Lately I have been drawn to vivid colors and contrasting prints. I have been seeing a new trend ...“Dad shirts” but worn by women. I love when my personal style choices become all of the rage. When I lived in Miami I thrifted a lot and I livvvved in the “Dad” section (no that wasn’t a real department), it was really just the men’s department. Anyway, they always had dope Hawaiian shirts or cool ones like the one I’m wearing. Overtime I grew a small collection of printed “Dad shirts”. Since the trend started, I have seen shirts like this sold for $130+. Of course being a vintage snob that I am; I rolled my eyes and I pulled this top out of the collection. The shorts are from a Brand called, “Motel”. They are very vintage-esk but are for sure contemporary. My shoes are from Go Jane…I got them during a 4th of July sale.This is the explanation for this mash up of prints.
Music: After the Storm…Kali Uchis ft. Tyler the Creator
Ps. I’m feeling good because well 1) I look it and 2) I choose it. Know that you are your own HERO!
Don’t worry about anything…Mr. Marley understood the luxury of letting go. When you let go of stress and worry, you gain so much. I am an “over” everything-er, (I know that’s not a word) an over analyzer, thinker, worrier etc. I admire the relaxed and chill…the type of people that can just go with the flow. I can do it but not if I let myself get worked up. I used to say, if I prepare for the worst at least I won’t be caught off guard. Whatever you expect you will get in life period. If you “prepare” (expect) for the worst it will show up and this will only lead to more stress.
Recently, I tested something different and I mess up at this a lot. The difference is now, I calm myself down a lot faster than I did in the past. I breathe and I tell God along with myself exactly what I want to happen. If you are going to try this, start small. Think of a thing that to someone else would be ridiculous but it matters to you. For example, I am a L.A. resident and there is always traffic. I have to leave my location an hour and a half earlier than I have to be there. Last Tuesday I didn’t do that, in fact I left only 45 minutes early and on a weekday in the morning. Tuesday morning is especially congested in my lovely neighborhood. There are a couple of schools and a lot of people who has to be at work at 9-930a.m. I told God and myself that I was going to make it to my parking spot by 9:00am. I made that decision and I refused to buckle on that idea…long story short, I made it at 9:09a.m. That’s amazing because there is no way that “should” of happened and that is the time I typically get to my spot when I leave on time. The key is faith and that what you requested will be, no matter what you see. I have many stories like this, stories about me creating my world with my words. A clear mind it’s a magical thing. It is so pertinent to focus on the “what” you are creating.
This look was also a manifestation of something I thought of and then created. When I moved to L.A. I had one plan however God had a better one. I didn’t have a photographer but by putting myself out there I was blessed with an amazing one. I learn so much and she is everything I asked for. This was the first time we shot together and it was perfect. My look consisted of vintage and contemporary. I love men shirts hence the two I am wearing. The piano shirt is from the thrift and the Bob Marley shirt I acquired from some guy my Dad knows. You can’t see it in these photos but I destressed the bottom with fire since it looks like a piece of joint paper. I belted it and paired the shirts with grey boots. With everything, don’t worry be happy…it will let the light in your life!
Music Bob Marley, “Three little birds”
Hello I am Abstract-Brio…meaning I’m many things to many people. Each person gives me something and gets what they need from me. Who I am and how I am at my core, I like. I am always evolving but never changing. I’m the same core person, I just give the people the type of love that they require. Much like an Abstract painting, I can’t be easily defined. Which also means, I am not easily accepted (understood). Even though there is a classification for “Abstract” works, they are so different that they don’t seem like they should be defined at all.
In my life I have become okay with the subtitle “social-introvert (I can be very outgoing but my nature is to be tucked off). I affectionately call myself a walking oxymoron with the talent of multitasking contradicting emotions. I use to wish I wasn’t as complex but then that actually seemed more difficult. I require balance and the way I find my balance is in the complexity of everything. I don’t see the same as most but there is value in that. No matter how different you are, you have allies and your complex nature is needed. It’s what makes you unique, it’s what makes you a creative and it’s what makes you…I’ll dare to say it, YOU.
Janelle said it best in, “I Like That”. We all have had times when someone under rated us. In Janelle’s case, she cut her perm off and went natural and a boy classmate rated her a 6. In my case I have felt rejected or picked over but even in those times, with the tears in my eyes, I always knew I was the shit! Fast-forwarding to now, I still have to tell myself that even though I have tears in my eyes now, it won’t always be that way. I also have to tell myself, I like the Abstract work that I am. I don’t need anyone to “get it “, sure I want to be understood and revered but it starts with me. Me saying I like it and those that agree are just the icing on the cake.
Since we are talking about liking stuff, I’m sorta into the LA style. I like that its simple…their outfits are very minimalistic. They convey a clear message with very few garments. I’m from the East (Midwest) Coast and we play in heavy layers. Not as in LA…LA’s layers are not complex and the fabrics are very light. This look is an example of a clear and uncomplicated LA look. I wore a Leather jacket, vintage sheer-ish PJ blouse, distressed jeans and thigh high boots. The PJ top was from the thrift store and so were the denim shorts. The bra is actually vintage which brings the look together and the boots are from Ego. This is still a look that plays with color and doing what you want…mixing two elements color and prints. Allow your creativity to explore, don’t worry, you won’t get “watered down” or become regular, you will just find different ways to showcase your complexities. Stay Abstract, ABstracts!
MUSIC:Janelle Monáe I LIKE IT
Let’s try something new! Let’s not fall into our old habitats of self-doubting and pity parties. Let’s dance in the burning glory of “Us”…get into a self-love vibe. I know that it can be hard to be all lovely with one self if you are disappointed in yourself but there is a simple remedy to change that perspective. What Brio? Well ABstracts the remedy is to allow yourself to think kind thoughts about yourself. I know your probably rolling your eyes or you have checked out and scrolled to the pictures. If you are still reading let me explain. You allow yourself to think negatively about yourself because you believe it. Over time those thoughts are the only reality, so in your mind it’s true. Well take that same energy towards positive thoughts. What you think about…You bring about. — Rhonda Byrne, “The Secret”.
If there is something you want to be but according to your “facts” you aren’t…start doing actions to make your “fantasies” FACTS. See the understanding of that is easy. The more you do this consciously, the easier the actions will become. Believe it or not all of the negative attributes of yourself that you loath, were once just thoughts practiced out and became “reality” and “facts”.
Listen I’m not above you in this, I am just sharing what I have come to understand. It is good to share wisdom among the community. Let me place a disclaimer here: I have perfected nothing but am willing to practice until I master. F*cking with oneself more than anyone else, is a principle we should all practice. It doesn’t mean don’t have friends, it means something much more. It means I am going to allow myself the space to get better and I’m not going to compare my journey to others. I’m not going to covet thy neighbor…instead I’m going to mind my own business while cheering on my fellow creatives. I’m not going to be worried about the who, what, when, why and/or how of anyone’s creative endeavors except my own. I will only be inspired to get better, create better and be even better. See its okay to say I’m not good at this but I will be. I will be fine because I’m not giving up. I won’t be distracted by shame, fear, ridicule or the losses I will face. When it’s all said and done and I have created a Masterpiece, no one will be distracted by the process. Often times the process gets celebrated along with the art it produced.
Speaking of creating, this look happened after I made a choice. I wanted to do something different and yet so me. The teddy and the flannel are from a thrift store. I live for a Teddy (slip dress) and this one I have worn a few times on the blog. It’s vintage Victoria Secret and it goes with the robe from Monday’s Post. On the other hand I love vintage flannel shirts. I didn’t want to wear it on the outside, instead I wore the teddy as an overall dress. I like the look of an exposed bra so I threw that in too. The little booties and scarf were there to bring the look together. The accessories are also from thrift stores and a Cleveland designer.
MUSIC:BANKS F*CK WITH MYSELF( PAUL DAMIXIE EDIT)
Dang it, I was really trying to make this one less wordy but that didn’t happen…I love you always. Leave comments, talk to me! Please and Thanks…
Knock me down 9 times but I get up 10. Hey I’m back...I never really left but you get it. I am back blogging and believing that this will manifest my dreams. If I’m being honest, I am going back to blogging because it serves as therapy for me. Sure I could pay a licensed doctor or specialist but why when I have AMP to work through my various creative bouts. I am in no way making fun or making light of seeking therapy…it’s important and it’s helpful. I have reached the point in my creativity that my biggest breakthroughs come from [doing something] creating and not sporadically creating but creating often.
Lately...I mean for the past couple of days, I have been craving knowledge. I didn’t want to listen to music which is rare, instead I have been reading affirmations and listening/reading books. I wanted or more like needed to focus on my mental health and my creativity…as a creative they work hand in hand. When you can be creative, your mental health is usually at a high level of positively, which leads to more creating. This also means when your mental health is at a high level of negativity that leads to less creating. I am learning that no matter where I fall on the spectrum rather it be high in positivity or high in negativity...you must create. Through creating and doing you will find your balance. Now there are many elements to factor in to accomplishing this balance besides just doing something but this is just my first post back. This is the level I am on the “getting back up for the 10th time.” While not being discouraged by falling down the pervious 9 times.
While I was away I did some research, failed at somethings learned other things but now I feel like I can assist others. I don’t think I have it all together. I want AMP to be a safe creative space, a space where you are encouraged and understood. Being a creative is hard…it’s emotionally taxing but it’s who you are so embrace it. One of the key lessons I learned in my hiatus was God always rewards you with more than what you needed. My advice is for you to notice and appreciate it while it happening and not after the fact. When you are looking at things positively everything is clear, you understand that failure is inevitable and failing will make you better. I haven’t mastered this but recently I saw a new perspective of failure. Failure and Fear are my kryptonite…put them together and that is my funeral. Recently I have decided to be okay with getting knocked down 9 times…not because Cardi B said it but because it is true. No one is “good” at everything but those who decide they want to be a master understand that failure isn’t final unless you stop there.
Okay okay now that I got you super excited to knock the dust off of that forgotten project…let’s talk fashion. This look was all thrifted…my shirt is a vintage Victoria Secret rob. The pants are in fact too big pajama pants from the thrift and they are actually nameless with a matching top I have worn previously. I love prints and I live to mix them obnoxiously. My sunnies are from a vintage store in Williamsburg NYC (Brooklyn) called, “Friends” and the shoes are Aldo.
MUSIC : CARDI B GET UP 10
Disclaimer: The next few post might me a tad bit Wordy…sorry Abstracts but I missed you and have so much to share.
Throwback volume #4. This is another throwback to my Miami days and this look showcased some of my favorites back in those days. The T-shirt was distressed by me…it came from my grandma when she went on a trip to Mexico. The shorts were hand distressed by me and the belt is from the Gap. The hand carved satchel and ring were thrift finds. The jewelry is a mixture of vintage and contemporary with the necklace being given to me by my Aunt.
This flashback look showcases my favorite vintage shirt and 95% of this look came from the thrift store. This shirt I purchased at a thrift store back in Miami and the jewelry was also all from thrift. The distressed jeans are not vintage but are men Abercrombie & Fitch and from the thrift. The belt and shoes are not thrifted…the belt is from the Gap and the shoes are BEBE.
MUSIC: SOLANGE RISE
The head wrap is a normal long purple scarf…this was my first attempt to doing a head wrap. I wrapped it so fast that I haven’t been able to duplicate it. As for the elements of vintage, they are the blouse and clutch. I purchased the blouse from a thrift store in Miami. Unfortunately I no longer have the top and I was only able to style it for two separate looks. The clutch however came from my very first job (Unique Thrift), the shorts are from Forever 21 and the shoes are from Charlotte Russe.
MUSIC : BEYONCE FT. KENDRICK LAMAR FREEDOM